she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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