Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
