Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
