its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
