This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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