Your mouth is God's brothel.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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