she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
