I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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