This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize