I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
