he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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