if i can run in heels then i can drive
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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