yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
