Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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