Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
