Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
