You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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