We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
