I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
