was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
