On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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