a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
my poor anus
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
