How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize