You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
