Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
