Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
