i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
