I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
