I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
