I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I will pee on everything he values.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
