I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize