Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
