We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
