I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize