And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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