he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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