Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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