Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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