New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
