Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
