i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
