Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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