problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
