After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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