dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize