Whod you bang
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
