i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize