why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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