i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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