3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Randomize
