Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize