I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize