i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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