She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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