Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
