# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
