Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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