You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
