I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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