Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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