WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
