am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
third nipple confirmed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
