I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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