i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
