I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
