Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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