I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
